Home Tales of Imagination Sun, Sand and Nattat

Sun, Sand and Nattat

by Venky

(Rasgado’s Jazz Club, Baía Farta, Angola | Claudio González Jorge, Google Maps)

The watchtower-cum-viewing point framed against the bright sky was at once precise and aleatory. While the Geometrical exactness of the structure itself left nothing to chance, the assemblage of buildings themselves gave an impression of being plonked down at random on a randomly chosen location.

“That is enough Nattat”, hollered the big bosomed woman with an arthritic limp. The walls of the kitchen into which she hobbled into was covered in jet black soot. It was the only room other than the stuffed living room that also doubled up as the family bedroom. But it was also 15 year old Nattat’s abode of art. “Come and help me clean the stove. You are in a musseques in Angola!”

With a hardly audible sigh, Nattat, gently placed her latest work of art atop a stack in the corner. This was neither her first sea nor would it be her last sky.

(Word Count: 150)

This has been an edition of What Pegman Saw

For the complete list of entries, please click HERE

 

 

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19 comments

crispina kemp September 15, 2019 - 10:10 pm

I like the deception here, and how you slowly lead us into the reveal. Nice one, excellently executed.

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venkyninja1976 September 15, 2019 - 10:24 pm

Thanks, as always! Indebted to receive your feedback.

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crispina kemp September 15, 2019 - 11:20 pm

🙂

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bearmkwa September 16, 2019 - 7:50 am

I like the story… and the art! 🙂

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venkyninja1976 September 16, 2019 - 6:12 pm

Thanks Much!

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Prior... September 16, 2019 - 11:52 am

enjoyed the setting – went so well with the photo and could feel the stuffed room
loved the word “plonked” and
the ending brought a smile:
“neither her first sea nor would it be her last sky”
because the art goes on… ahhhh

(and not sure if you want this kind of feedback — but should geometrical should be capitalized?)

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venkyninja1976 September 16, 2019 - 6:13 pm

Thanks Much! I reckon Geometrical ought to have been in capital.

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Prior... September 17, 2019 - 1:53 am

well why ?- it is not a proper noun – it is not a title, a name, or a specific place …
it is just type – so it should be lowercase (and again – when writing fiction it is always your choice even if not grammatically correct – I just wanted to mention it )

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Lynn Love September 16, 2019 - 5:42 pm

Art goes on when all around is chaos – fantastic. Vivid story

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venkyninja1976 September 16, 2019 - 6:12 pm

Thanks Much!

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Lynn Love September 16, 2019 - 8:13 pm

Pleasure

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venkyninja1976 September 16, 2019 - 6:14 pm

It does indeed!

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Joy Pixley September 16, 2019 - 7:25 pm

Nice twist, that the image is the aspiring artist’s creation, amid all that hubbub. Great last line!

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k rawson September 17, 2019 - 12:01 am

Great descriptions & nice reveal. My favorite line is “neither her first sea nor would it be her last sky” 🙂

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venkyninja1976 September 17, 2019 - 10:04 am

Thank you so much! Glad you liked the piece.

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J Hardy Carroll September 17, 2019 - 12:28 am

I really like that last line. Well done.

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venkyninja1976 September 17, 2019 - 10:04 am

Thanks Much!

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pennygadd51 September 17, 2019 - 6:02 am

Nice story! I like the single-mindedness of Natta – that’s the most important attribute for success in any field of art.

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venkyninja1976 September 17, 2019 - 10:05 am

Thanks Much! I totally concur with your views.

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