(Rasgado’s Jazz Club, Baía Farta, Angola | Claudio González Jorge, Google Maps)
The watchtower-cum-viewing point framed against the bright sky was at once precise and aleatory. While the Geometrical exactness of the structure itself left nothing to chance, the assemblage of buildings themselves gave an impression of being plonked down at random on a randomly chosen location.
“That is enough Nattat”, hollered the big bosomed woman with an arthritic limp. The walls of the kitchen into which she hobbled into was covered in jet black soot. It was the only room other than the stuffed living room that also doubled up as the family bedroom. But it was also 15 year old Nattat’s abode of art. “Come and help me clean the stove. You are in a musseques in Angola!”
With a hardly audible sigh, Nattat, gently placed her latest work of art atop a stack in the corner. This was neither her first sea nor would it be her last sky.
(Word Count: 150)
This has been an edition of What Pegman Saw
For the complete list of entries, please click HERE
19 comments
I like the deception here, and how you slowly lead us into the reveal. Nice one, excellently executed.
Thanks, as always! Indebted to receive your feedback.
🙂
I like the story… and the art! 🙂
Thanks Much!
enjoyed the setting – went so well with the photo and could feel the stuffed room
loved the word “plonked” and
the ending brought a smile:
“neither her first sea nor would it be her last sky”
because the art goes on… ahhhh
(and not sure if you want this kind of feedback — but should geometrical should be capitalized?)
Thanks Much! I reckon Geometrical ought to have been in capital.
well why ?- it is not a proper noun – it is not a title, a name, or a specific place …
it is just type – so it should be lowercase (and again – when writing fiction it is always your choice even if not grammatically correct – I just wanted to mention it )
Art goes on when all around is chaos – fantastic. Vivid story
Thanks Much!
Pleasure
It does indeed!
Nice twist, that the image is the aspiring artist’s creation, amid all that hubbub. Great last line!
Great descriptions & nice reveal. My favorite line is “neither her first sea nor would it be her last sky” 🙂
Thank you so much! Glad you liked the piece.
I really like that last line. Well done.
Thanks Much!
Nice story! I like the single-mindedness of Natta – that’s the most important attribute for success in any field of art.
Thanks Much! I totally concur with your views.