Double Irish Dutch Sandwich & Tax Havens

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(Photo Credit: kyryll ushakov on Unsplash )

The Moody Blues were crooning “Nights in White Satins”. Perched on a bar stool I nursed my third glass of Monkey Shoulder Whiskey resting my elbows on the gleaming and translucent bar counter polished to a spit and bereft of even a speck of grime.  The friendly bar tender went about his chore with a meticulousness that bordered on the obsessive. “Wednesday nights are usually docile”, he educated me. “We hardly get a handful of thirsty crows.”

Two such “crows” languidly lounged on a comfortable settee just to the left of the bar. Dressed in Desmond Merrion Supreme Bespoke suits, they had loosened their neckties and were sipping from what appeared to be identical glasses of Carthusian Sazeracs. Making no attempt to mellow their decibel levels, they looked determined to holler over Justin David Hayward and his band.

“I prefer the Double Irish Dutch Sandwich”, asserted Mr. Tall. “This is how Apple, Google and Starbucks carted away profits to their tax havens.” The brows of Mr. Short furrowed and he responded, “Ireland is no longer a safe bet. I prefer the Singapore Sling route. This is exactly how my Group avoided $3.4 billion in taxes over the past 4 years.”

The door to the bar flung open and six men in suits strode towards the settee and grasping the shorter man by his shoulders lifted him off his seat and handcuffed him. Mr. Tall calmly said, “Mr. Steve Bozo, you are hereby arrested for blatant tax evasion and corrupt practices.”

(Word Count: 250)

#TellTaleThursday with Anshu & Priya